


To Let Go and to Be Complete

by like_water



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Flint and Silver's adventures in the land of their own emotions, M/M, Polyamory, Post-Series, Thomas is long-suffering, but also supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 13:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16517228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like_water/pseuds/like_water
Summary: James and Silver have met again. Nothing is easy. Thomas welcomes a bit of peace and helps James gain a new perspective.





	To Let Go and to Be Complete

...On the third day, the screaming stops. 

As he puts down his journal and rises from his armchair to prepare himself a fresh cup of tea, Thomas realizes that he had just been blessed with an interlude of silence long enough to allow him to read a whole, lengthy article without having his concentration broken by the shouting, curses, slamming doors, and even, occasionally, the sounds of objects being broken, thrown, or otherwise falling victim to the tempestuous reunion of James and John Silver. 

This having become the norm for the last few days, Thomas is both grateful for the extended stretch of peace and curious as to what caused it. He is aware of how important John is to James - despite everything that transpired between them. He has noticed that, despite the happiness of their new life together, there was an ever-present trickle of melancholy in James, and the light in his eyes that Thomas remembered from their past all those years ago seemed to have faded. Now that his and John Silver’s paths have, by sheer chance, crossed again, the trickle seemed to be disappearing and - despite all the arguments, bitterness, and old wounds - the light seemed brighter. Anxious to see how the situation developed, Thomas abandons the kettle and walks quietly towards the door. 

It’s a cold, autumn day in October. The sun is still providing a little heat and painting the falling leaves shades of gold and bronze, but there is already chill in the wind; Thomas can feel cold air whistling in through the cracks in their old door, reminding him to talk to James about getting a new one before winter. 

Peeking out through a little window by the door, Thomas can see James and John still in the porch where he left them in the morning. They seem to have moved on from the shouting and crying - Thomas hopes it’s not merely a temporary lull - and now James is talking quietly, while John listens, his expression somber. Then, James stops and looks away, pensively, and they sit in silence. After a few long minutes, John stands up heavily and begins to walk away. 

For a few moments James doesn’t move, sitting with his shoulders hunched and his head bowed; then he raises his head and looks at Silver’s retreating back. He stands up abruptly and quickly walks inside the house. He raises an eyebrow at Thomas, who he finds still hovering behind the door, and his lips twitch a little in an approximation of a smile.  


“You’ve stopped shouting,” Thomas explains himself, “I thought it necessary to see whether you were both still alive.” James looks over Thomas’s shoulder suddenly, something clearly having drawn his attention. He walks past him quickly, grabs Silver’s coat from the hook in the wall and rushes out the door again. 

Thomas watches him and wonders. 

***

They don’t see Silver for over a month. James, too, becomes little more than a visitor at their home, spending most of his days in his workshop, chopping wood, or just taking long walks in the woods, without apparent purpose. 

They do still spend evenings and nights together. They sit in front of the fireplace and James, pensive and distant, watches the flames with unseeing eyes, a book or a cup forgotten in his hands. Thomas watches him and listens to his silence.  


Later he holds him in bed and kisses him until James, returned to him, starts kissing back and the unhappy lines around his mouth begin to recede. 

***

Thomas does eventually ask him about Silver. James says that they saw each other again, a few days before, and that they had agreed to meet one more time, a month later, and either resolve the issues between them or bid each other a final farewell. 

As the date of the meeting draws near, Thomas broaches the subject once more, wanting to know which way their encounter is more likely to end. It seems, however, that James is still adrift: he admits that he does not know what he’ll tell Silver, nor what he expects to hear. 

***

“Are you happy with me?” Thomas asks one day, and James looks at him incredulously, his hands frozen above the table they’re sitting at, the tool he’d been fixing forgotten.  


“Of course,” he says, “Do you doubt it?”  
“No.”  


A few seconds pass in silence as James watches him in confusion and Thomas studies him intently.  


“Are you happy without him?”  


James’s face goes slack, his mouth falling open in surprise. He looks down with a frown.  


“No,” he says after a moment in a strangled voice, looking like he hates himself for admitting it, and closes his eyes.  


Thomas stands, walks around the table, takes James’s face in his hands and gives him a lingering kiss. When he opens his eyes, the other man is piercing him with a searching, desperate stare.  


“I don’t want you to be unhappy,” Thomas says. James gives him a considering look, then leans his forehead against his and they stay like this for a long moment.  


“You know that I love you.”  
“Yes.”  
“You know that I will return.”  
“Yes.” 

***

At dawn the next morning, James leaves for the town where Silver is waiting for him at an inn.


End file.
